Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
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