I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
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