Dude, I was completely sober last night, didn't puke on my shoes, went home with an incredibly beautiful girl, wore a condom, and didn't wake up in a puddle of urine this morning.
hah, sarcasm, classic
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
Randomize
