Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
its not stalking. its research.
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
