i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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