O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
Randomize
