im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
Randomize
