please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
