He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Randomize
