Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
