I like my sex mixed with concussions.
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
Randomize
