So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
I walked into a room this morning and someone asked how my back was because I apparently threw myself off the porch after attempting to set myself on fire. Who the fuck let drunk me play with fire?!
Better question: who the fuck planted a tree next to the porch?!
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
