why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
Randomize
