FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
