woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
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