When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Randomize
