we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
Randomize
