Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize
