If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
Randomize
