The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
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