i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
