and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
Randomize
