is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
