A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
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