dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
