just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
