threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
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