I heard we made out
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Randomize
