Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Randomize
