I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
