Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
Randomize
