you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Randomize
