it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Randomize
