people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
My Higher Power is John Stamos
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
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