I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
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