His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
Randomize
