On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
Randomize
