I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
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