i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
Randomize
