i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
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