Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Randomize
