Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
