Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
