I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
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