her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Randomize
