don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
