I scissor kicked a one legged man last night.
He was trying to put me in handcuffs.
You have my attention.
wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
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