thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
Randomize
