There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
