I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
time to smoke my breakfast
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
Randomize
