I just cut my nipple shaving
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize
