Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
someone owes me an orgasm
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
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