the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
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