Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
