yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
Randomize
